PT - Special: Kaumaha
by whump-2-go
Summary: Another two-part story showing the after-effects of episode 4.21 from each of our perspectives.
1. Chapter 1

_**Kaumaha**_

_**By Whump-2-Go**_

Episode 4.21 had some flaws, but they were so unimportant considering the outcome of the episode that I didn't even mention them in my review.

What absolutely blew me away was Alex's performance in this one. I mean, he is always great, his subtle acting is an art-form. But this time it was just amazing. His acting alone saved this ep and made it an amazing experience.

And of course we couldn't let this episode go by without putting our two cents in. So here you go. This time I go first. Our chapters are both really short, but it's what I wanted to say, and I think Cokie felt the same with hers.

Hope you will enjoy it.

. . . Sam

**Steve's thoughts  
**_**by Sam**_

Steve blinked his eyes open and it took a moment to orient himself. When he turned his head to the right, realization hit him. He was home… alone. With Catherine still in dangerous territory.

He lay still, trying to figure out what had happened after the phone call last night. He had been utterly exhausted, and having that emotionally draining conversation had only added to his state. He had willingly, almost greedily taken one of the prescription pain pills the doctors at the base clinic had given him. In the hope not only to make the pain bearable but even more so to numb his mind, so that he could sleep.

And it had only taken very little to push his beaten body over the edge and let him fall into a sleep that almost rivaled unconsciousness. But now he was awake again, and his thoughts went back to the last conversation he had with his lover.

Oh God, the last. He was fully aware that it could very well be the last time he heard her voice. He might never ever talk to her again. Steve felt his throat tighten. Tears were threatening to quell over, but he was not ashamed of it. He missed her already.

It was not like they had always been together. No, they had spent months apart, but they had always known they would get back together. This time, Steve knew nothing. He might not even learn if Cath was… NO, he wouldn't… couldn't go there. He could not think about that right now.

Steve groaned again when he slowly rolled over onto his left side, hissing when his injured arm made contact with the mattress. It didn't matter that it had been a friendly bullet that went through his arm, it still hurt the same. In those moments there had been so many bullets flying around it was a wonder that he only got hit in the arm.

Steve still remembered his confusion when the SEALs suddenly stormed into the room taking out the hostiles. In those moments his head had exploded in pain from the noise. He had suffered not only head trauma in the explosion and later the beating, his ears had still been ringing and really hurting.

He had now been subjected to blast injuries the second time in a matter of a few weeks. Those explosions could have caused permanent damage. His hearing had yet to come back to a hundred percent.

Steve slowly sat up and just stopped all movement. _Why was he even getting out of bed?_ He had nowhere to be today. He was on sick leave for the time being. And if he was honest, he was neither in the mood nor in the shape to go to the office.

But to bury his head in sorrow was just not his style. Right now he felt beat and down, but he knew he would get back up. He owed it to Catherine and to himself. But he thought he was allowed to mourn at least for a few days. And that was what he intended to do. He would call Danny later and take a few days leave. His friend would be suspicious, but Danny had seen his injuries, he knew that even walking hurt. So he might keep quiet and even praise him for being so reasonable.

Steve snorted at the thought of Danny thinking of him as reasonable. As if that would ever happen. But right now Steve didn't really care what Danny thought. He needed a few days just to himself. To get his head straight and figure out how to proceed from here.

And he needed to make a few phone calls, he had to call Joe, not only to thank him for organizing his rescue, but also to ask for his help to help Catherine. And he needed to call a few other contacts of his, call in a few favors. Catherine didn't want him in the country, and at this point she was right about that. But that didn't mean he couldn't help her from this side of the world.

A shudder went through Steve when the sudden though of his capture invaded his mind. He knew he was going to be in for some hard times. Not just because of Catherine, but because of what he had to endure during his capture. As long as he didn't suffer any flashbacks, he was sure he'd be able to handle it. But it couldn't hurt to call Lou soon. It was easy talking to him. Way easier than with Danny. He had no idea why that was, but he wouldn't analyze it. He just took it as it was.

Steve looked over to the chair standing in the corner. Catherine's sweat pants still lay crumbled on it. They landed there the last time they had been in this room together. A pang of pain shot into his chest, and he knew it had nothing to do with any physical injury.

"Cath." The whispered sound slipped past his lips.

Steve cleared his throat and slowly stood up, glad not to get dizzy anymore. He made his way into the bathroom to start his day. The first one of who knew how many without his Cath in his reach.

He knew he would make it… he always did… but the thoughts of happiness or contentment were out of his reach. On the other side of the world. His life would not be complete until he woke with Cath next to him again.

**H50 - H50 - H50**

Page **3** of **3**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Kaumaha**_

_**By Whump-2-Go**_

_**Like Sam said, we each had our own thing that we "had" to say after this episode. Actually I've been thinking about this chapter of Pillow Talk since I learned Catherine's character would be written out of the show. I just had to wait and see how they planned to handle her exit. I hope this makes sense. If not, send me a note and I'll try to explain. :) ... Cokie  
**_

_**Kaumaha**_

_**by Cokie**_

Steve closed the door and set the alarm; his body on autopilot. The day… no the entire week had been unending stonewalls and roadblocks. Finally tonight… Friday, they had caught up with Mason Molani after receiving a tip from the man's sister-in-law. Molani had called his brother asking for money… again… and she had had enough of his welching on repayments.

They had caught him red-handed at the airport where he had booked a one-way ticket to Brazil on a charter plane. A flight that never made it off the ground. The diamonds he had stolen were in a false lining of his suitcase although he had tried to bluff his way out of the arrest.

Steve kicked off his boots in the hall and padded in his socks to the bathroom where he brushed his teeth and stripped to his boxers, grabbing a pair of sleep pants from the back of a chair. He eased into bed and scooted under the cover toward the middle, rolling closer to Catherine's side. The scent of her citrus-coconut shampoo filled his nostrils and he breathed in her scent.

"Hey, Cath, I'm home," Steve whispered into the dark.

"_Hi Commander. Rough day?" Catherine whispered and stretched, not yet willing to open her eyes._

"We got a lucky break and found Molani right before he got on a plane to Brazil."

_Catherine turned over onto her side and lifted the cover._

"Don't worry, I'm not hurt," Steve added as an afterthought.

"_I hope you will take good care of yourself, Steve. You take too many chances. Maybe listening to Danny every now and then wouldn't be such a bad thing. Sure he rants about his safety, but you know, he is really concerned for your safety, too."_

Steve grinned. "Danny is a worry wart, but he watches out for me. Can you believe it, today he made me stop and re-velcro my vest because he thought it was too loose. We almost missed Molani because of that."

"_Danny loves you like a brother, let him take care of you."_

"Danny is my brother. Cath," he began, then hesitated. "You're taking care of yourself… right?"

"_Steve, please don't worry about me, I'm good," Catherine said. "Just busy."_

"If you need me, all you have to do is ask." Steve said into the night. He would go to her on a second's notice.

"_I know you would help me in a heartbeat, but you have a lot to do."_

Steve brushed his hand over her pillow. "I love you, Cath." By now it was easier to say, but he still choked up a little every time. He so longed to hear her say it back again.

"_I love you so much, my sweet Commander. Stay safe for me." _

"Cath, promise me you will be careful." Steve inhaled her scent one more time, his palm lingering on her empty pillow. He then sighed and rolled to his back, staring into the dark night. He hoped to get a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep before the nightmares jolted him awake and the night tremors began.

The nightmare of being beaten within an inch of his life; once again hearing and feeling the pop of his shoulder as it was wrenched from the socket…

… of staring into a movie camera being ordered to lie about his life…

… of feeling the machete raise the hairs on the back of his neck…

… the sound and smell of hundreds of bullets whizzing by – a hairs breath away from his head…

… of waking up in a military hospital, thousands of miles from home with the CIA forcibly removing him

from the country… and from his Catherine

… of hearing Aloha spoken into the phone one last time.

During the days, he was able to fill every minute of every hour to the max, but the nights were long and difficult. He knew she was out there, alone in a God-forsaken land with no back up. He couldn't help but worry.

The nights were always the worst.

_**H50 H50 H50**_

Catherine rolled off the bed she had made from a bale of hay and her cloak. She knew she smelled just as bad as the goats and donkey who had shared their barn with her.

She brushed the straw from her hair with her fingers, hoping to soon find a way to wash it. How she longed for the comforts of home.

No… she longed for home itself. And the man who lived there.

He was all the home she had ever wanted.

It was time to begin her day. At night, after long hours of searching, she fell onto any horizontal surface she could find and fell fast asleep. But the next morning when she awoke, she knew that Steve would soon be ready for sleep. And his sleep would bring nightmares. Nightmares he had to battle alone.

Mornings were always the worst.


End file.
